Monday, April 22, 2013
Just a short entry to report that yesterday and today I ate very clean (all Paleo except for hummus that I enjoyed last evening) and also to report that today I put an offer in on a house that I am totally in love with. I am sure my dreams tonight will be filled with all of the things I want to do to that house. I noticed that when I wake up in the middle of the night to feed Marilyn I am often in the midst of a dream. I wish I could start jotting down what the dream content is... maybe I'll try to when her bottle is warming up. Well that's it for this entry, I am working on a presentation that I have to give on Wednesday at work. In true Hopkins fashion I have procrastinated... not unlike most psychiatry attendings I know when they are preparing their grand rounds...
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The Whole Life Challenge went very well, then it ended... in the midst of me beginning a serious house search. Needless to say I have nervously/anxiously been out of my mind hungry this past week, and indulged just a little... I did not get crazy with portion sizes, but I made some choices that I'm really not proud of. I willfully admit that I enjoyed the 2 donut holes, the pretty triangle-shaped brownie with swirly chocolate frosting, the egg roll, the white rice with soy sauce, the lovely hummus topped with olive oil, the spicy home-made chili full of beans, the many tablespoons of creamy peanut butter, the small piece of an amazing cinnamon roll, and the several fig newton's and so-called 'healthy' organic oreo knock-offs... DAMN what a slob of disgusting foods! I do not believe in regret. But I do believe in guilt. The verdict is still out on shame. I mean, I am utterly opposed the the whole idea of regret, but I cannot decide on shame. Well, I have painted a pretty grim picture, when in fact I am entirely okay with myself. Mainly I am okay with these awful choices because they ended about an hour ago. NINE whole days completely off paleo is enough to make my ass start growing visibly larger AND my digestive tract to pain me in the morning, and that's enough for me to pull back on the reigns and get back to the natural state of affairs. Hence back to PALEO! Damn I am glad I do not believe in regret, cuz I'd be in some regretful pit of badness right now if I did. Okay, okay, that's guilt talking! Hahahahaha! The absolute BEST thing I did during the Whole Life Challenge was to outright refuse to weigh myself more than every 8 weeks or so for the rest of the year. Thank God for that because I would not want to see the damage the last 9 days have done represented by some number. I say the rest of the year because at some point in 2014 I will be pregnant with baby #2 and the scale will then be very helpful to keep track of myself... okay a whole other topic entirely. I'll be posting my boring food log daily, mainly to stay accountable to myself and to pat myself on the back when I do a good job. I'm a long, long way from getting back to my pre-baby #1 weight/size and my precious baby is already 5 months old. However, as of the end of the Whole Life Challenge (ahem, 9 days ago) I was 37 pounds down from where I was the day I came home from the hospital with my newborn. About 15 of those pounds came off during the 8-week challenge. Not being completely obsessed with the scale any longer, I'm not as concerned with losing another 20 pounds, though it would be nice... but I am obsessed with getting stronger. I am completely in love with weight training, though I currently only spend about an hour most days doing it... I am not training to be a competitive athlete, that will never be a goal of mine as long as I am having babies, which will be for the next 5 years or so- I am training to have fun! Once we have our house we will be setting up our garage to be able to lift at home, which is of course going to be in addition to the lifting I do at my CrossFit gym. Well, I have sufficiently managed to babble for a long time. I seriously do not know why anyone would read this whole rambling post. Which is funny because I read plenty of rambling blogs. If you are still reading please post a comment. Even just a 'what's up!' will do!!!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Who in the heck are the people that look at this blog I wonder?... maybe the random browser of blogs via blogger.com?... Anyhow, this will be super short. It was a wonderful day. I burned Marilyn's bottles while sterilizing them- while trying to multitask I forgot about them on the stove. But you know what, I never let things like that get to me :) There are more important things in life :) Like going to bed early! Hence the super short post... it is already 20 minutes later than I want to be in bed these days and I still have to shower. I haven't gotten back to strict paleo since the Whole Life Challenge ended last week, but I'm not going to sweat it just yet. I'm certain I will be fully back on the paleo-wagon in no time. Tonight my dessert was vanilla almond milk mixed with stevia, ground cloves, chia seeds, peanut butter, and banana slices followed by a piece of lemon-infused dark chocolate. So delicious.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
I am sitting here in the living room while Cain stands over his top dresser drawer, which he has pulled out of his dresser and placed on the kitchen table, in search of his W2 form. It is April 13th. He is an organized and passionate man, as well as very serious about time-sensitive material. Yet, this year, with a baby on our hands, we have been less than organized. I have decided to start blogging. Not because I think what I have to say should have any weight in the world or that I am particularly interesting, but because I believe in blogging as a form of therapy. I am admittedly very concerned with the whole issue of privacy, but I think we can sensibly agree that in this world if someone wants to know more about you they will find it out one way or the other anyway. Cain has very interesting items in his dresser drawer... floss bands, catnip, a Van Halen CD, checkbooks, old credit cards, Chinese money, a library card, a sleep aid... he is announcing these findings to myself and our cats as he searches some more. Okay, so on with my therapy. 2 days ago was the last day of the Whole Life Challenge. I am very bad with figuring out what to do after the end of things like this. It was a terrific 8 weeks of weight loss and strength gains for me. It started off when I was 3 months post-partum and today Marilyn turned 5 months. I still have around 20 pounds to lose and plan to do this by eating strict paleo with a cheat day every few weeks or so. Hence this blog. I feel like I really need to be accountable to someone outside of myself. I think this is because I am completely happy with who I am and with my place in the world regardless of what the scale says or how heavy the barbell I pick up is. However, I want to live a very long and very healthy life and I think that the best way to do this is to stay light and fit. That said, and I know this sounds very vain, I believe that the greatest accessory is a hot body (well, second to a baby of course, which is the greatest accessory of all time, lol). I enjoy putting on clothes without worrying if I will feel comfortable when I sit down or bend over. I miss it! You see, I am rambling on now.... this is good! This is therapeutic! I feel sort of bad for you for reading this, but I promise this blog will offer up many goodies for your mind, heart, and body. I'm getting sleepy. Cain is still looking for his W2. I'm going to bed in a couple of minutes. I am fading fast. Okay yes, you guessed it, there is a confession in order. How did you know!? I did not eat paleo yesterday or today. I'm not ashamed or disapointed. I don't believe in regret. But I am frustrated with the realization that all of the work that I do in the next few days will only be to get me back to where I was physically a few days ago. I am FREE of weighing myself again until 6/20/13. When I do weigh myself again on 6/20/13 I want to be my pre-pregnancy weight again, but even more so I want my 1 rep ring-dip, 1 rep pull-up, 215 deadlift, and 155 back squat back. Those are not crazy goals. They aren't even big goals. I just want to be back at baseline. I may make a few more goals in the next week or two. This blog will track my journey. It will also contain seriously cute pictures of my baby girl and many other random entries. This blog is actually already boring me and I'm the writer. Oh well, like I said, you can be doing anything right now but you are reading this... Thanks... I'm falling asleep...